FAQ's

Click on the links below to find out all of the answers to your frequently asked questions about sex.

1.  When is sex legal?

The age when you can legally have sex is different in each state or territory in Australia. These laws also differ according to whether it is heterosexual or homosexual sex and whether you are male or female. The Lawstuff Website www.lawstuff.org.au can help you understand the laws where you live.

2.  What is an orgasm?

This is the climax of sexual excitement in both guys and girls. At the peak of sexual pleasure in the body, the sex organs contract in a series of muscular spasms, followed by a feeling of release. Guys have an obvious sign of orgasm - ejaculation, while girls don't. In fact many girls don't have orgasms from intercourse, but from foreplay and oral sex.

3.  Does doing it hurt?

Sex for the first time can be painful for a girl, as the penis breaks through the hymen. The hymen is an area of very thin membrane that covers the opening of the vagina, and when torn causes a very small amount of bleeding. In many girls, however, the hymen is often broken before sex by tampon use and sports, so don't always expect to see blood.

4.  What if a guy can't get it up?

It's not a sign he's got a problem, but it could be that he's stressed and anxious. If this happens relax, go back to kissing and try again later. There's no need to hurry things – it might not all happen perfectly for the first time. Like most things, sex gets better with practice.

5.  What if a girl can't have an orgasm?

Many women/girls take a while to learn what gives them an orgasm and what doesn't. Many do not orgasm through penetrative sex alone, and need an extra helping hand to help them reach their climax, for example through foreplay, oral sex, or more kissing.

6.  What is oral sex?

Oral sex is using your mouth and tongue to stimulate your partner's genitals. Also known as cunnilingus (boy to girl, girl to girl), and fellatio (girl to boy, boy to boy), 'blow job', (girl to boy, boy to boy), 'going down' (boy to girl or vice versa, or girl to girl, boy to boy).

7.  Do sex and love go hand-in-hand?

Some people believe it should, and some disagree. Again, the important thing is to do what's right for you. Remember one thing though, sex doesn't equal love, so having sex just to make someone love you won't work. Also, you might want to think twice before having sex with someone if you are aware that you don't share their feelings (i.e. they say they're in love with you) - it might save a lot of future heartache if you think about things first.

8.  What if someone asks me to do something and I don't know what it is?

Sex is full of slang, which means what one person calls a head job another calls oral sex. If you're ever stuck when someone asks you to do something, and you're too embarrassed to ask, just say no. After that, quiz your friends, sex education books and this website to find out the facts.

9.  Is it ever safe not to use a condom?

Not if you want to make sure you avoid unplanned pregnancy and sexual transmitted infections.

10.  If you've had sex once and decide you don't want to do it again, can you say no the next time?

With sex you can say no any time you want. Just because you've done it once doesn't mean you have to do it again.

11.  Does being good at sex come naturally?

No - like anything, learning to be good at sex takes time and practice. If you're prepared to listen, learn and take your time, you'll soon pick it up. Also, it is important to talk to your partner, tell him or her what you like and what feels good. Sex is more likely to be a positive experience if you can be open with your partner.

12.  What about if you tell someone you don't want to have sex with them but they don't listen and force you to have sex anyway?

No means no, and everyone should respect that. If someone forces you to have sex with them and it is against your own will, this is rape and you should report it immediately. If this happens to you and you don't feel comfortable going to the police, talk to an adult you trust and make sure you do it straight away.

13.  My uncle kisses and touches me when no one else is around. What should I do?

If a family member makes any kind of sexual advances towards you (kisses you, touches you etc) they are committing an illegal act. Just remember – you are not to blame and you should have nothing to be ashamed about. Tell your uncle what he is doing is wrong, and then go straight to an adult you trust and tell them what happened. Alternatively, you could speak to a school counselor or sexual health organization. Check out our Help & Advice page for more info.